the nail polish is chipping and sometimes i think about sitting up swinging my legs landing on my feet walking to my bureau grabbing the remover but instead i lie in bed flat on my back with my hands above my head like the morning you rolled on top of me and said i was beautiful, beautiful like the aftertaste of starbursts when you roll them under and around your tongue again and again but don’t bite don’t bite don’t bite and i’m waiting for you to come back, to grab my feet and call them beautiful and rub your knuckles across the arch and make me feel like the candy wrapper that got caught in the flower’s middle; hidden, secret, special. i can’t remove you until i can replace you, can’t strip myself without someone else to dress me, can’t get raw and clean until someone else is willing to trace my edges and crevices with alcohol and cotton swabs and color me as their own.